A New Definition

"Someday my RM will come." Something I wrote in my journal back when I was in high school. I now look back on it and laugh. I'm not dissing on the quote itself, just my state of mind when I wrote those words down on paper and swore to marry a returned missionary. In young women's, I was always taught that I should aspire to marry a man who has served a mission. In seminary, I was taught that I should marry a "Moroni Man". Some may not be familiar with the term, but a "Moroni Man" has a lot of very admirable qualities, one being that they served a mission. It was something that I really took to heart back then.

I think those who choose to serve a mission are great. It takes a lot of selflessness and strength to serve a worthy mission, and I applaud those who choose to do so. To dedicate 18 months to 2 years of your life to hasten the work of the Lord is very admirable. Missionaries make it possible for families all over the world to be together forever and I love that. 

To serve a mission is a wonderful thing to do, but serving does not make you better than those who have not. Serving a mission doesn't make someone better fit to be a husband or wife than someone who took a different route. I'm so glad I realized this when I went to college. 

Flash forward to now: On March 18, 2017 I married an amazing, loving, righteous, and respectful man. Those are just a few of the many, many admirable qualities Sa has. He meets all of the criteria of the type of "Moroni Man" I was taught about in seminary, but he did not serve a mission. Do you know what I have to say about that? WHO CARES. Sa took a different path and enlisted in the military right after high school. He grew and was shaped into the man he is today by learning discipline and hard work. He has been through so much and has grown through his experiences. He is one of the best people I have met, and my new definition of a "Moroni Man". 

I want to break the myth that serving a mission makes someone better or more righteous than someone else. There are so many examples of wonderful men in my life who never served missions. My husband, my Uncle Frank, and my favorite bishop are a few I can name off the top of my head. They are all sublime examples of righteous men and I am so lucky to have them in my life. 

Ladies, please don't close your hearts and minds to the idea of marrying someone who did not serve a mission. There are various reasons for not serving. Health issues, whether that be mental or physical health, personal struggles, and may others. Sometimes serving a mission is just not for everyone. I once had a friend who said she would never marry someone who hasn't served because she holds herself to a high standard. Don't be like that! By having that kind of mindset, you could be closing yourself off to meeting some really incredible people. I'm not saying everyone should ditch their dreams of marrying an RM, just don't limit yourself. Rather, focus on marrying someone who respects you, loves Heavenly Father, and tries their best every single day to be more like our Savior Jesus Christ. You're not too good for anyone.

I think that if 15-year-old Chas could see who I ended up with, she would be pretty proud regardless of that cheesy quote she thought she would swear by.

 Sa will serve a mission someday, and it will be with me by his side. 

Who am I to judge another?

So today as I sifted through the magnificent realm of the twitterverse (did you catch my sarcasm?), I stumbled across a post that really just put me in a mood. Not a good mood. One of those moods that makes me super irritable and upset. That's never a good thing.

The post was from a fellow LDS member, and she was talking negatively of the LGBT community. YES, yes, I knoooow. I know what the church's stance is in the subject. I know that not everyone agrees with it, and that's fine. I know that there are so many differences in opinion when it comes to this subject. That's okay! I respect those opinions. Your opinions are yours, my opinions are mine. But this lady was straight up cruel. People were cruel back to her. It was a big huge thread of contention and I wish I never read it. Every single message. But I did, and that's why I'm here typing away on my trusty old blog.

If you don't agree with the way some people live their lives, buck up and keep it to yourself. If you don't agree with others opinions on how you live your life, same goes for you. Why does it matter?? Is the way someone else wants to live affecting you? No? Then stop!

There was one comment in particular that drove me mad. I won't go into detail, but it was along the lines of saying who gets to go to the celestial kingdom, and who won't be going. (Imagine me clapping between every word here) THAT. IS. NOT. FOR. YOU. TO. DECIDE. The Lord is the only one who can judge any of us for our actions here on this earth. I have no idea who will go where. And that's okay, because it's not my job to decide that. It's my job to do all that I can to get where I want to be in the hereafter.

This is why I got so upset. As member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we are taught to love our neighbors. Everyone! Show compassion even if we have differences. Our job is to spread the gospel to as many people as we can. That doesn't mean you need to baptize everyone you meet, or get 500 people to read the Book of Mormon. It also means carrying Christ's name upon us in a pleasing way. I don't know about you guys, but I can't really see the Son of God putting people down on social media because he doesn't agree with the way someone lives. He would show love, compassion, and overall respect. I just wish so badly that we could all try to do that. REALLY try! Can you imagine how much better things would be if we could all accept each other's differences and still love each other?

This topic really hit home for me. I have so many people in my life who are members of the LGBT community. I want them to know I love them. We may have differences, but we have overcome those and I'm so glad! I can't imagine my life without each and every one of those individuals.

For those of you in any situation who have felt judged or mistreated by a member of our church, I sincerely apologize. I hope you can see that for one judgemental person in the church, there are heaps and heaps more that are SO loving and caring for everyone, regardless of different opinions. Come talk to me sometime.

There are worse things in life than having a different opinion that someone else. I accidentally bought waterproof mascara at the store today! Terrible. I guess all I'm trying to say here is can we please try to focus more on respect and compassion, and not acting self-righteous and judgemental? I think it's a sublime idea. I KNOW we can do better than this.