"Someday my RM will come." Something I wrote in my journal back when I was in high school. I now look back on it and laugh. I'm not dissing on the quote itself, just my state of mind when I wrote those words down on paper and swore to marry a returned missionary. In young women's, I was always taught that I should aspire to marry a man who has served a mission. In seminary, I was taught that I should marry a "Moroni Man". Some may not be familiar with the term, but a "Moroni Man" has a lot of very admirable qualities, one being that they served a mission. It was something that I really took to heart back then.
I think those who choose to serve a mission are great. It takes a lot of selflessness and strength to serve a worthy mission, and I applaud those who choose to do so. To dedicate 18 months to 2 years of your life to hasten the work of the Lord is very admirable. Missionaries make it possible for families all over the world to be together forever and I love that.
To serve a mission is a wonderful thing to do, but serving does not make you better than those who have not. Serving a mission doesn't make someone better fit to be a husband or wife than someone who took a different route. I'm so glad I realized this when I went to college.
Flash forward to now: On March 18, 2017 I married an amazing, loving, righteous, and respectful man. Those are just a few of the many, many admirable qualities Sa has. He meets all of the criteria of the type of "Moroni Man" I was taught about in seminary, but he did not serve a mission. Do you know what I have to say about that? WHO CARES. Sa took a different path and enlisted in the military right after high school. He grew and was shaped into the man he is today by learning discipline and hard work. He has been through so much and has grown through his experiences. He is one of the best people I have met, and my new definition of a "Moroni Man".
I want to break the myth that serving a mission makes someone better or more righteous than someone else. There are so many examples of wonderful men in my life who never served missions. My husband, my Uncle Frank, and my favorite bishop are a few I can name off the top of my head. They are all sublime examples of righteous men and I am so lucky to have them in my life.
Ladies, please don't close your hearts and minds to the idea of marrying someone who did not serve a mission. There are various reasons for not serving. Health issues, whether that be mental or physical health, personal struggles, and may others. Sometimes serving a mission is just not for everyone. I once had a friend who said she would never marry someone who hasn't served because she holds herself to a high standard. Don't be like that! By having that kind of mindset, you could be closing yourself off to meeting some really incredible people. I'm not saying everyone should ditch their dreams of marrying an RM, just don't limit yourself. Rather, focus on marrying someone who respects you, loves Heavenly Father, and tries their best every single day to be more like our Savior Jesus Christ. You're not too good for anyone.
I think that if 15-year-old Chas could see who I ended up with, she would be pretty proud regardless of that cheesy quote she thought she would swear by.
Sa will serve a mission someday, and it will be with me by his side.
